I went to kickboxing class today.. if anything can help lift the spirits it's moving the body!  The instructor is also the instructor of a playground fitness class that Gwen has been taking most of this year.  I'd never really had a conversation with her, but felt that since Gwen and I both see her regularly for classes that I needed to tell her about Dresden.. I mean, 2 months ago I was skippng to my lou with Gwen and a big ole Dresden belly!  :)  And now all of a sudden, I'm at the rec center every day, taking classes, skipping sadly to my lou with Gwen in her class and NO BABY!  I felt like she as probably wondering where the baby was, so I felt like I wanted to talk to her about it.  So, I did.. it was a little akward, (Hi, I'm Shannon, we've never been properly introduced,  I'm sure you remember that I was pregnant.. my baby died) but it felt really good to get it out there! 

My mom told me that my uncle is hosting early christmas this year, since I guess Ma doesn't want to..  she said she told them that I was probably not going to be there.. that I shouldn't be forced to be around those tiny babies.  She said that she would hang out with me at Ma's house while the rest of the family was next door (most of my family lives on the same street!)  Well.. I really hope that by December I can be graced with the presence of the wee ones.  It is incredibly hard to see the babies, as you can imagine.. but the fact is there are babies EVERYWHERE!  It's gonna happen!  Two of our friends will be bringing newborns to our christmas party - they asked me if it would be okay, and I said that I hope it will.. but I hope to see the babes sooner, just to make sure!  I don't know if I'll hold any babies - truthfully, I only want to hold MY baby.. but who knows what another month will do to my emotional state?   maybe I'll be better.. maybe I'll be worse.  I take one day at a time and can offer no more than that.